Back in Guangzhou

Jonina and I flew out of Cebu around noon on April 12. We had a five hour lay over in Manila which did not seem like eternity because my sister and brother-in-law, Sandra and Carlo Ratilla, met us in the airport. It was good to see Carlo because he was unable to join us when the rest of my siblings and mom were in Cebu. We had a good time eating, sharing stories, and praying for each other.
We left Manila around 7:20pm and reached Guangzhou about 2 hours later. Since I was on a wheel chair immigration and customs went quickly. We saw the Fuda rep. frantically trying to hold up 5 signs with names on 2 hands. We found out that he was waiting for 9 patients to arrive that night coming in from different airlines. Our small group which arrived on Cebu Pacific sat down in a corner and waited for another 2 hours for the rest of the patients to arrive. It was not hard to start up a conversation with anyone. We were like kindred spirits, facing the same enemy and sharing common experiences. We talked about our treatments and what else we had to face, each of us wondering what the future would hold. I thought man and medicine can only do so much, but only God can heal. In the midst of our common pain, God is our only hope.
When everyone finally arrived, we were a group of 23. We filled half a tourist bus but this bus was not taking us on a tour, it was taking us to our “home:” the Fuda cancer hospital. It was 1am when we finally arrived. When we finally got to the 7th floor, the nurse on duty recognized me and asked where "uncle" was. It was a question I had to answer many times later as I met the other nurses.
The next day, Jonina and I decided to explore the neighborhood. I showed her the bakeries, fruit stands and grocery. After exchanging some money, we decided to have luch in KFC much to her disgust. She said, "We did not travel all the way from the Philippines to eat KFC!" I said, "Well, I’m putting off eating Chinese food as long as I can!"
On Wednesday I had my CT scan. Doctor Zhang told me that there was only a slight improvement between my first PET scan and this latest one. It seems like the first 2 rounds of chemo only had minimal effect on the cancer so they decided to give me a stronger chemo med. This wasn’t the news I was wanting to hear.
I had my localized chemo the next day. You would think that after doing it twice, I should be used to this but I’m not. Just the sight of the operating room makes me queasy. At first they had a problem finding my files and almost put up another person's file for reference. It's good I’m far sighted and could see that it was not my name on the screen. It took some time for them to locate it and I had to instruct the nurse where my name was on the screen’s list of patients.
When it was almost finished the nurse asked me, "How do you feel?" I said, "My knee is numb." She asked, "Knee?" She then pulled down the cover from my chest thinking my “knee” was somewhere there. I repeated, "My knee is numb," trying to point to it. A doctor came in to ask me what I had just said. So I repeated myself. The nurse moved to my right foot, touched it and commanded me, “Move!” I wiggled my toes in compliance but in my mind I was screaming, "It's my knee, not my foot!" Finally after a while, they asked me to bend my right leg and the nurse touched my knee. I said, "Yah, that's the one."
As could be expected, the discomforts of the new chemo med is more. I feel like I have a mouthful of teeth with cavities. Eating is not a pleasurable experience. I sometimes have a headache or ear aches or aches in my joints. I have had 3 days of infusions, about nine each time. I have somehow felt that the tumor in my right armpit has become smaller but at other times I wonder if it is all my imagination. To make things worse Dr. Zhang just told me that I will have an infusion of the chemo med in a few days because the initial doze is not enough.
At this point, I am rather discouraged and wonder why I am still here if the treatments are not working as expected. I skyped Doug and he told me that he had received a letter from Linda, a member of our church in Peterborough, Canada. She started the letter by telling me that I did not know her but she was touched when she heard I was battling with cancer. A sister who was close to her faced the same battle. When she would go on walks, the Lord would bring me to her mind and tell her that I had angels with me, not one or two but many! The Lord also gave her a message to me that he would be the one who would give me the comfort I was seeking – 100% of it! She ended her letter by saying, “In our Father’s caring arms, all is peaceful, all is safe, all is well.”
The letter touched me at my deepest need at that very moment. Like a soothing balm on my weary heart, I experienced a loving touch from my Father. He knows what I am going through and he can provide all that I need to sustain me during this time. I don’t understand all that is happening but I am sure: he is all I need.
Thank you Linda.