Sharpe Update October 2010

How quickly time flies and soon we will face the end of another year! How grateful we are for the Lord’s goodness!

FAMILY UPDATES

Illness made its rounds among our family members these last months. Aside from the usual cough and colds, John had dengue hemorrhagic fever (which included 5 days stay at the hospital), Ben had amoebiasis, Jonina the flu, Mandee roseola and I had food poisoning and urinary tract infection. Thank the Lord the episodes were brief and without complications.

Doug joined a sprint triathlon in which participants had to swim for 1 k, bike for 30 k and run 7.5 k. He clocked in at 2 hours, 29 minutes and 45 seconds. He finished first in the 50 and above, there were only 2 in his age group! We are just proud that he was able to complete the event without any injury or sudden death!

He has been busy teaching at our Discipleship Training Schools in YWAM. Just last week he was in Mindinao and the weeks before that he was in Iloilo (another island) teaching at a ministry training center. His last trip for the year will be in November when he helps lead an outreach team from our church to Thailand to help build a training center on the edge of the golden triangle.

Doug has been really pleased with the results of the small groups ministry in church. Members are getting to know each other better and are showing care through prayer and fellowship.

Jonina is gearing up to finally get her driver’s license. After the triathlon, she drove home to give Doug a break. After a while, Doug said: I didn’t have a heart attack during the event but I’m close to having one right now! I exchanged notes with another friend whose 17 year old just got his license and I found out that parents and teenagers who are driving is like a lighted match near gasoline! It is an extremely volatile situation! If we had 3 brakes in the same car, it would be more bearable! Problem is, Ben is at Jonina’s heels and started taking driving lessons this week. I don’t know if we will survive having 2 teenagers at the wheel! Maybe I should start walking!

John and Mandee’s lives continue to revolve around facebook and the internet. How these social networks have changed the way people connect! I am amazed at how Mandee comes home to quickly turn on the computer so that she can chat with a friend she spent the whole day with at school! John is no different. At one discipline situation, he was not allowed to log in to facebook for a month. When his punishment was finally over, his wall was peppered with messages like: are you dead? What happened to you?

HEALTH NEWS

In late September, I had a CT scan which was compared to the one I had in China in April. I was so happy to hear that the scans showed that tumors have shrunk, there are no new masses and my other internal organs look fine! There is still evidence of bone metastasis but I will no longer need to take oral chemo meds because my monthly biphosphate infusion will take care of that. I am so thankful that I will be off the meds after my 8^th cycle. Every time I took the meds, I had a different set of side effects. The doctors in China gave me a whole list of side effects and I was checking them off as they appeared. I am just thankful that “sudden death” is not one I had to check off!

I have officially appeared with my real hair since middle of September which is, surprisingly for me, very curly! I call it my chemo perm --- the most expensive perm I’ve ever had! But I am thankful that I don’t have to wear scarves or a wig any more.

I continue to be well and strong. I have gained more weight! I am now 51K and should be exercising soon to redistribute my new fat from my midsection to other parts of my body! I still have to pace myself and make sure I get enough rest. This last cycle of chemo meds has been sapping my energy so I just take a nap whenever I can.

THANKS AND PRAYERS

We thank the Lord for his constant provision for our financial needs. When I needed about CAD300 for the CT scan, I prayed to the Lord and the next day, Doug bumped into a friend who asked what my needs were. That same day, he gave the amount so that I could have the scan.

Without having to take the oral chemo meds, this will surely lighten our financial load. However, I still intend to take supplements to help my body’s immune system and fight off inflammation. The biphosphate infusion will be for another year and a half since the oncologist told me that the usual period of treatment is 2 years. So please join us in prayer as we continue to look to the Lord for our provision. We need to see weekly miracles in this area!

We would like to thank you again for all your prayers on our behalf. Thank you also for the texts, email messages, phone calls and letters we have received which encourage and strenghten us in our continued journey of faith. We realize more and more that we could never make it on our own! We are so grateful for your love and concern and pray God’s rich blessing on you and your family.

Grateful hearts

Marla, Doug and family

P.S. For more details on our happenings, you may check out my blog: marlasharpe.blogspot.com

Thoughts on Living/ Remembering Xenia

Life has often been likened to a journey. We start on this journey on the day of our birth and we continue on until we pass through the doors of death. Sometimes we think that we have control over how this journey will be. We plan 5 years ahead and set up goals. We say: this year, I will do this and next year, I will do that. We plan on the premise that nothing untoward will happen to us. That everything will be fine and our plans will unfold as we give our best to reach those goals. We never plan to include accidents, illness or even death.

Three years ago on Oct. 29, a doctor in Canada told me that I had breast cancer, that I should see a surgeon immediately and have a mastectomy. All that I had achieved in the past, all my future plans just collapsed before my very eyes. Death which I thought was just a specter on the distant horizon was knocking at my door. He was closer than I thought he was.

This journey with cancer has led me to many byways, detours and dead-ends. On one hand I have faith and trust the Lord for the miracle of healing. On the other hand I tried to do what I could: researching, seeking various treatments options, consulting different doctors. I suffered from pain, lost weight, cried tears of desperation, ate food that gagged me, juices that taste like grass, did enemas, downed multiple supplements, changed my amalgam fillings --- I've done it all.

In the course of my journey, I have met others who are also walking the same road with me. Last April, when I returned to China for my last 2 cycles of chemo, I met Xenia and her mom, Tita Auring. Although a Filipina, Xenia has been living in the US since 2005. She has a wonderful career in computer systems. She was diagnosed with lung cancer 4 years ago. She underwent chemo for that long as well and nothing seemed to work. Her mom, Tita Auring, left everything in the Phils. and went to the US to care for Xenia, her only daughter after having 2 sons. When Xenia read about Fuda Cancer Center, she thought she owed it to her family to give it a shot.

I remember bringing them to our favorite dimsum place. They got tired of the food in the hospital as well and wanted to try sometime different. At the last minute Xenia was not able to join us because they needed to put her on IV so I had lunch with Tita Auring and she brought home some food for Xenia to enjoy.

I also remember sharing with Xenia my disappointment that the chemo meds did not work on me. She replied: Don't worry, they'll find something for you. She was so positive.

When Xenia returned to the US, the doctors there told her that she was worse off than before receiving treatments in China. It seemed like the cancer had spread and was affecting her vocal chords. Her voice was reduced to a whisper. When I heard this news, my heart was heavy. I wrote her an email message talking about putting her trust on the Lord Jesus and the tension of waiting for a miracle and yet, preparing for death. I was able to skype her and I was glad to see her even if I could not hear her. Tita Auring was there to tell me what Xenia wanted to say. I told her that Psalm 91 was a favorite psalm and that I wanted to read it for her. I did so and felt the Lord's compassion for her. I am glad they were encouraged by it. Tita Auring wrote later that they would read the Psalm again and remember me.

This summer, Xenia, her husband and 8 year old daughter had a holiday in Disney World Florida. She said that they could not really afford it but it was worth all the fun they had. Towards the end of their time there, she found herself gasping for breath even after just a few steps. She waited until they returned to Virginia to be admitted in a hospital.

Her situation was getting worse. The doctor wanted her to go back to her first chemo drug which did not work for her. She refused. If it didn't work then, why would it work now. The doctor told her that it could buy her some time. She told her that her body was tired of chemo. The doctor said that if she delayed in making a decision, the decision will be made for her. Xenia understood but she did not want any chemo anymore.

When her cousin asked her how she felt about her situation, she wrote: "It is what it is. I'm still alive so I still have hope. I'm not going to live my life in fear and depression. I have too much to live for. So I live (quite happily, I might add)."

She tried to change her diet but it was just too difficult for her body. She began to lose weight and strength. Then she heard about Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Philadelphia. She was suffering from pain and could not walk when she was admitted.

Tests showed that the cancer had already spread to her brain. Xenia had witnessed her father die from a seizure after being treated for cancer in the brain as well. The news disturbed her to say the least. Her uncle comforted her by telling her that the meds now are different and more effective that those her father took.

In her blog, Xenia wrote: I know that even in the worst circumstances, I am not alone. God is with me in the people around me and in the people who send their love.

On Tuesday, Oct. 27, I received an email from Tita Auring informing all that Xenia passed away on Monday night. She was able to receive the last sacraments and Tita Auring was with her. She was 35.

When I think of Xenia and many others, I know that life is fragile. Someone once said: we are all terminal but only some are lucky to know it. We normally don't live our lives with death in sight. We live as if we will live forever. We make plans for tomorrow but for some of us, we may not have as many tomorrows. In 2009 when my health was at its worst, I thought the door to death was opening for me. By God's grace and mercy, I am still here today but I must admit, that there are times when I find myself looking at the door and wondering when my time will be up.

In light of this, how then should we live? We must live each day fully. Whether you have cancer or not, live today as if it is your last. No time for regrets. No more excuses to do things later or tomorrow. Now is all we have. Regina Brett, author of God Never Blinks wrote: Each day is a precious gift to be savored and used, not left unopened and hoarded for the future that may never come.

How do we live our life fully? Hug a little tighter, love more deeply, forgive more quickly, laugh more readily and live for the Lord totally.

This journey of life will eventually take us home. And when the day comes that the door will be opened, I know it will be a glorious day!

I Love C.O.O.K.!

Last Sunday, we had our culminating activity for the "I Love COOK (Church of Our King)" campaign. This was done to relaunch our small groups. After some 16 weeks, the small groups did various presentations and testimonies on how their lives have been changed by attending the small groups.

Doug and I handled the parenting/marriage small group and the one that studied the book of James. We had enormous fun interacting with the different group members and grew to love them more as we got to know them better. I believe that we were able to achieve our goal of connecting and building a community of love and care for each other. The next cycle of small groups will start on the second week of November and end before the Christmas break. Already, they have announced the new curriculum which includes a study of the book of 1 Thessalonians and 2 aspects of the Purpose Driven Life among others. We are looking forward to having new members be a part of the groups we will be handling.

For the church bulletin, I wrote a short piece on why I love COOK. Here it is:

I love COOK because:

We’re multicultural – we have members from America, Canada, Burundi, Switzerland and from all over the Philippines like Bohol, Syquijor, Samar, Leyte, Iligan, Nueva Ecija, Bacolod, Davao, Bukidnon, Manila and many other far flung places

We’re multi-age – from lovable infants, hyper toddlers, equally hyper pre-schoolers, precocious elementary kids, cool hi-schoolers, uber cool college kids, hip young pros, newly married, not so newly married but still happily married, to secret seniors

We’re multi-lingual – we speak various forms of English: American English, Canadian English (EH!), British English (that’s you Lollette), Indian English (that’s you again Lollette!) Taglish, Vislish and of course French, Swiss German, Chinese and a kaleidoscope of Philippine dialects

We’re multi-talented – singers, dancers, scripwriters, video makers, props men and women, directors, keyboardists, guitar players, bloggers, painters, photographers, song writers, stage actors/actresses, bakers, coordinators, from all walks of life!

We’re multitaskers – we have a motivational speaker as our youth pastor, a manager in a telecom company who is heading our Sunday School, a great cook who keeps the office going, a pastor who is also a missionary, a candidate for a PhD making videos, a masscom senior in charge of church communications, successful businessmen handling small groups, and many others just waiting to serve.

We’re all this BUT we all love one God, one Lord, one Savior!

That’s why I love COOK!

I Am Thankful!

On Monday, Oct. 11 all of Canada celebrated Thanksgiving. It is a wonderful celebration that brings together families and friends, good memories, great food and lots of laughter! Over here in the Philippines, we often let this special day slip by mainly because there is no Phil. Thanksgiving Day which serves as a reminder and we are often so busy with everything else! This year, a Canadian visited our church on Sunday and greeted Doug a Happy Thanksgiving Day. Right there and then, we decided to celebrate by having a special meal with food that is otherwise contraband (like sweet desserts, ice cream, carbonated drinks, etc.) in our household because of my change in diet. We all enjoyed it though.

As we celebrated Thanksgiving, I thought of all the things I am thankful for and my heart just overflowed with gratitude! Looking back on the year that has passed so far, I know that it is a miracle that I am still alive! This time last year, I struggled with so much pain in my body and lost so much weight. I thought my days were running out. This year I am well! The Lord is merciful and good!

Let me just fill you in with my list of "thank yous." I am thankful for:

*my husband who continually encourages me to reach for my dreams even when I am fearful and whose love gives me strength to go on. I want to grow old with you hon.
*my children who bring laughter and joy to me while challenging me to love them unconditionally - you will always be my babies
*my mom who will always be my best friend - words are not enough to tell you how much I love you
*my step dad who loves my mom and loves us all equally
*my sisters and brothers (and their spouses) whose love and support I can always depend on - my life is full because of you
*my nephews and nieces who make living worthwhile
*relatives whom I may not see often but who love me just the same --- I love you all
*my friends near or far who cry with me, laugh with me, pray for me, listen to me and my ramblings or read my blog posts
*our church family here in Cebu and Canada for all their faithful prayers, support and encouragement
*our YWAM family who have always embraced us through thick or thin
*our ministry supporters who make it possible for us to continue on the field and who continue to give sacrificially
*friends from different churches who treat us as family and who pray for me constantly and give generously
*for new strength every day --- I am grateful that I am given another day to live
*for health
*for weight (I am now 51K!)
*for hair! (even if it is a little too curly for my taste!)
*no pain!
*finances that come in just in the nick of time (God your timing is always perfect!)
*books and movies that make me laugh, stories that make me cry
*God's word that feeds my soul and comforts my heart
*Psalms that give words to my deepest emotions
*Worship songs that cause my spirit to soar into God's presence
*FOR LIFE!

Lord, for all that you are to me and for all that you have done --- in two words: thank you; in three words: I love you and in four words: I am yours forever.

My Husband: The Tin Man

It must be the testosterone that makes a man desire to conquer a challenge set before him. I could never understand why my husband at the ripe age of 50 wanted to run a half marathon. Despite all my misgivings, he proceeded with his plan and finished it in spite of the pain he experienced. I was so proud of him.

Then he heard about the Ironman Triathlon. If the marathon was a bad dream, the Ironman is a nightmare! Imagine swimming 3.86 k, biking 180.25 k and finishing it off with a 42.195 k marathon. To me, the queen of a sedentary lifestyle, only the insane would want to attempt to do anything like this! Or someone like my husband!

Thankfully there are many mini versions of this triathlon called sprint triathlons. One of the more popular ones in the Philippines is done at CamSur ( on the island of Luzon). When Doug heard that one of our friends participated in a relay (a group of three with each one doing one phase of the triathlon) and finished with an impressive 5^th place, he started setting his sights on the CamSur 70.3 Triathlon for Aug. 2011.

Just last Oct. 9, there was a sprint triathlon in Naga City. It was a short notice but since the distances were quite manageable (1 K swim, 30 K bike and 7.5 K run), Doug decided to give it a try. I jokingly told him that since the distances are only a fraction of the Ironman, if he finishes the race, he will be called the Tin Man! After signing up, Doug told me that he was the oldest participant! Well, if you finish that alone will make news I said.

So on Oct. 9, Doug, the girls and I left at 5am for Naga City. As expected, I hardly slept the night before, intermittently praying for his safety between tosses and turns. I was tired but excited. So was Doug who had a nervous stomach. As we were pulling into the parking lot, we were impressed with the bikes that some of those athletes were bringing in. To the untrained eye, they just looked quite ordinary until you find out how much the wheels on those things cost! Doug had a mountain bike which a friend gave him since he started biking a few months ago.

Doug knew some of the participants and easily made friends with the others. Mateo Guidecelli, a teenie heart throb, was one of the celebrity participants. High school students who were in the plaza for a fiesta presentation provided the screams wherever he appeared! Everyone wanted to pose with him for photo ops.

Before Doug went to the sea, I gave my famous last words: Pace yourself, arrive alive and promise me you won’t die of a heart attack. The starting gun was finally shot at past 7 am. Doug did well swimming in the sea but tried to keep his distance from the others so that he won’t get hit. When he got out of the water, I thought he looked tired. Are you ok? I asked while he changed shirts and put on his biking gear. He just nodded. Then off he went on the bike. Doug later told me that the bike path was easy but those with road bikes just whizzed past him. I’m not sure how long it took him to bike but when he entered the transition area, he parked the bike, quickly put on a hat and off he went. Doug told me later that at that point, his legs felt like jelly!

We were thankful that there was a cloud cover during the whole morning of the event. Otherwise, the heat would have been unbearable! The girls and I all got a tan while waiting. When Doug finally appeared at the finish line, he clocked at 2 hours, 29 min and 45 seconds. We were so proud of him!

Later, during the awarding, Doug finished first in his age category. Need I tell you that there were only two of them! Still, Doug was a finisher and deserved the title of Tin Man. However, unlike the Tin Man of the Wizard of Oz who had no heart, Doug was all heart and gave his best. I think that will always characterize Doug in everything he does. I am so proud of my husband, the Tin Man!

Next year, CamSur here we come! (unless I can talk him out of it!)

Life Lesson from the Marathon

I wrote this article after Doug ran a half marathon last January. I decided to include this as a prelude to my next post. I particularly enjoyed writing this piece and hope you enjoy it as well.

“I am going to run in the Cebu city marathon.” My heart sank when my husband Doug declared that to me in November. A friend had just told me about how someone she knew died of a heart attack in the Subic Iron Man recently. He was no newbie to the sport and he was only 52 (Doug is 50).

“Do you think you can make it?” I asked Doug.

“Well, I’ve been swimming a mile daily for almost 2 years. I’ve been doing 12 rounds at the Abellana Oval, walking and jogging for about a year and a half. So I think I can do it.” Unconvinced, I thought: Oh Lord, I don’t want to become a widow!

But nothing could deter Doug. Soon after he bought a book on marathon training and religiously jotted down his daily workouts. He read articles, looked through the athletic shops, compared notes with another friend who runs and little by little bought things that he would need: reliable shoes, a heart monitor, proper shorts and shirts, etc. I thought, it’s still a long way off; he may still change his mind.

But he didn’t. I was glad though that he decided to do the half marathon since it was his first time. About a month before the marathon, Doug announced it to the congregation in our church that he was joining and that he would like to do it to raise funds for missions. From some of the facial expressions, I could tell that they did not believe Doug could do it either! Two other guys, half Doug’s age, were also joining. I thought: that’s neat; maybe they can pick him up if he collapses!

A week before the marathon, our youngest daughter Amanda (10 years old) and I were praying before bedtime. I asked the Lord to keep Doug safe, to make sure he does not injure himself, that he won’t collapse from dehydration and that he won’t have a heart attack.

“Mommy, I was so excited about Daddy joining the marathon but after hearing your prayer, I’m now scared!” Amanda exclaimed.

“Well, we have to cover all the bases just to make sure he’ll be ok,” I reasoned out.

On Dec. 30, Doug started feeling sick. It progressively got worse over the weekend. He had some stomach bug and was miserable with some diarrhea. Maybe the Lord is answering my prayer, I thought.

Unfortunately for me, on Jan. 4, he woke up feeling better and when I asked him if he was still going to run, he answered, “Of course!” I couldn’t believe it! I started praying harder!

I attended the carbo-loading party at Ayala Terraces on Jan. 8. I got to meet some of the runners who thought that I was going to run too (“No, I don’t even walk short distance!” I told them.). It was fun listening to some of the speakers and to watch the video, “Spirit of the Marathon.” I went home remembering what one guy from the video said: each marathon is unique because you never know what your body will do to you.

The night before the marathon, I was too excited for Doug, I couldn’t sleep. He went to bed early and got up at 11:30 thinking it was time. I softly stroked his arm. Will this be the last time I will have him beside me alive? I tried to shoo the morbid thoughts from my mind. I prayed and sensed the Lord said that he would be ok. That calmed me.

He got up at 1:30 am and I finally fell asleep. The next thing I knew, the alarm went off at 4:30 am. I hurriedly woke my two girls up. We walked from the house to the corner of Escario and Osmena, across the Capitol building. It was almost 6 am when we saw the 2 young guys from our church running in tandem. Doug was not with them.

“Did you leave Doug behind?” I demanded to know.

“He has a pain in his hamstring,” they both replied.

Oh no, I thought, not good news. I wonder if he will still run the whole way. We waited to see if he was still in the pack. After about another 20 minutes or so, I spotted him doing a light jog. The girls called him and I asked, “Are you going to make it?”

“I hope so. I got this pain after the first kilometer.”

I doubted that he could make it but then after being married 21 years to him, I know that Doug is not a quitter. I was just concerned that he will injure himself seriously. I prayed that the Lord will miraculously take the pain away.

Some runners started to run back towards the finish line in IT Park close to 7 am. We looked at some of their faces and it looked like only sheer determination was causing them to continue running. I started to cry. What about Doug, I wondered.

Two ambulances passed in front of us and I strained my neck, trying to see who was in it.

“Mom, why are you peeping at the ambulances?” Amanda wanted to know.

“Well, you never know,” I told her simply.

One young guy from the church ran back, blowing kisses to us while we cheered him on. About 30 minutes later, the second guy passed us, walking. He said his last sighting of Doug was on the SRP when he was on the return.

I was surprised that he made it that far! It was almost 8:00 am when we spotted him. “How are you? Are you going to make it?” I asked my famous question.

Doug slowed down and approached us so that we could all give him a hug. We got drenched from his sweat.

“I’ve had this pain all along. If I stopped, the pain was worse. I just ran with the pain and prayed all the way,” he told us as he continued his run.

“You can do it,” I encouraged him.

Three hours and forty-six seconds after the start of the marathon, my husband crossed the finish line. I was so proud of Doug, so proud that he finished the race despite the pain in his leg. You see, I am living with cancer and have had to deal with a lot of pain this last year. Many times I felt like the grave would just swallow me up. It seemed easier to give up than to keep on going, fighting to stay alive, believing that I will feel better tomorrow.

It’s true: you never know what your body will do to you but the marathon of life goes on. You have a choice: give up or press on. When Doug ran, I felt like he had identified with my pain and courageously continued with his trek and made it to the finish line. I still don’t know what else my body will do to me but I know that with God's grace and the encouragement of my husband’s experience with the marathon, I will make it. Some day, I too will know the exhilaration of crossing the finish line.