Letters from Amanda

Amanda came into our lives like a P.S. in a letter. Our third child John was turning 4 and ready to tackle pre-school and I was turning 40 that year: too old to have babies and too young to be a grandma or so I thought. But a month before giving birth to John, I just had a great desire in my heart to have another baby girl whom I planned to name Amanda which meant "much loved." I kept that longing a secret in my heart and wondered if indeed the Lord would bless our household with another girl.

When I found out I was pregnant, the kids were so excited! Jonina (then 9 years old) put in her request for a baby girl. Ben (6) wanted a baby boy and John was happy enough to get a baby pig! When Amanda was born and Doug broke the news to the kids: Jonina was elated, Ben was disappointed, John shrugged his shoulders and suggested, "Let's call her skunk!" But as soon as they laid their eyes on her, Amanda (we also call her Mandee) was much loved by us all.

Today Mandee is 11 years old and is raring to be 18! She still likes to play jackstones, tag, Go fish and thinks wearing a bra is so embarrasing. She can't wait for her feet to grow so that she can wear my shoes. She loves Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers and American Idol. She is always on facebook and chats with her classmates and friends on YM. She loves to sing and hopes one day to join the church worship team.

In the school where she goes, they have a diary which is used as a journal for the kids to jot down thoughts and happenings in their daily lives. Mandee always addresses her letters as: Dear Diary but actually, she is writing to her teacher. I love reading those letters because it gives me a glimpse of her heart. They are sometimes funny and amusing. Other times, they are thoughtful and revealing.

Let me let you in on some of her letters:

Dear Diary,
...Yahoo! We have PE today. I like PE. How about you teacher? You like PE? What was your favorite subject when you were a kid?

...It is my sister's birthday today. She is 18 now. I wish it was my birthday so I can be 10. I like to be 10.

...(do) you like to be with your boyfriend? Do you want to go on a date with him? Do you like to be with him often? (teacher replied: all yes! hahaha!)

...check what you like: ____cute boys ______cool boys _____smart boys

...Are you close to D (name of teacher's boyfriend)? Can you tell me more about him? I want to know more please. (If you do) I will tell you (who) my crush (is).

...I wonder what kind of pop star I look like? I would like to look like someone who is pretty!

...Teacher, do you want to get married soon? What age do you want to ge married? Me I want to get married at 28. My mom got married at 30! For me that is old.

...What did you like to do when you were small? Did you like to go to school or did you hate school? Me, I kind of hate school. I liked it when I was in pre-school because my mom was my teacher so it was fun. She has her own school and I went there.

...Today is a bad day. Tina cried. I feel sad for Tina --- always doing her best and people are not listening to her. I wish people would just listen.

...Do you like a husband who is kind or handsome or funny or all (that I mentioned)?

...Well I need to tell you something. My mom's tumor was getting smaller and smaller and that was good. But this month, it got bigger. I touched it and it is really big. Our family is giving out newsletters to the people who are praying for my mom. I am soooo sad :( but I know God will heal my mom. But please pray for my mom. She needs prayers. Our family needs people to fight the battle for my mom's life. I feel like crying teacher.

...Teacher, thank you for praying for my family. I love you teacher! I really hope my mom will get all better.

...I wonder why Korean singers are so popular. Their songs are so annoying for me.

...Today R hit me on the head (Mandee then describes in detail all that happened)...It hurt so much and then I choked him. The end.

...I wish I didn't need to go to Chinese tutor...but I (would) rather play with my friends because I am still a kid. I want to be free and enjoy life. Teacher do you think that's good for us kids?

The winds of time flip through the pages of our lives. Dust settles on teddy bears, Barbie dolls and pocelain tea sets. Very soon, high heels and make up will be her favorite things. In a blink of an eye, my little girl will give way to a lovely young lady. Someday she will fall in love, marry a lucky young man and have her own babies. When that happens, I pray that I will be around to share her happiness and cry myself silly at every happy occassion. When times are tough, I want to be there to hold her hand and tell her everything will be ok.

But until that time, I will cherish the little girl who still wants me to tuck her in bed and tell her stories of when she was a baby.